There was a time when online dating sites were a novelty, and only a couple of them could be found. Today there are dozens, with more appearing all the time. And yet, some users complain that they get “lost” on them. That they just don’t connect with others on these sites, or just a few, who don’t seem to be particularly good matches anyway. Is there any way to have a better experience on these sites and meet the person you want to?

Users can start to get more positive results from these sites by looking at the site or sites they’ve signed up with. Are they sure that this is the site they want to be on? Again, today there are dating sites for every sexual orientation, race, age, and hobby. If you think that Star Wars is the best science fiction movie ever, then you may not be hearing from a lot of people on that Star Trek site.

And why are you using your site? If you’ve stated on your profile that your goal is a serious relationship and you’re using a site that specializes in hookups, your profile may be passed by. If you’ve determined that you’re in the right place, among like-minded people, then your actual profile may be in need of an upgrade. Please note than “upgrade” here means “enhance”, not “embellish” or downright “lie”. Anyone who’s ever seen the movie or television show Catfish knows that those techniques don’t seem to work well.

So how can your profile be honest yet awesome, drawing members of the opposite sex? Take another look at that profile name, for starters. Is it short? Does it say something about you? Or is it cutesy, sexy, or annoyingly pretentious? “Horsey” may not be the best handle, but it’s a heck of a lot better than “My Little Pony”, for example.

Take a look at your profile pictures. If you are online dating, you need online photos. The two go hand in hand. But no substituting photos of your hotter friend or even photos of yourself when you had more hair and were thirty pounds lighter. Flattering selfies are fine, but they should be recent and honest. You should be fully clothed in them, and display a variety (not too many, though) of them to give viewers an idea of the person that you are.

Aside from pictures, what should your profile reveal about you? Treat it like a blind date. You’re trying to find common points of interest without scaring the other party off in the process. General remarks about your political and religious affiliations are acceptable, as long as you stay away from preaching. It’s also fine to mention favorite books, movies, and music here, but avoid long lists.

And in the end, the most attractive thing about your profile is the investment that you make in it. Taking the time to find a site that best suits your expectations, avoiding “catfishing”, and making thoughtful choices about what’s on your profile make it easier for the date of your dreams to find you.