Being Friend with your Ex?

I was out with an Archway Escort whom I’ve known for about ten years and she had a question about a recent relationship she was in that just ended, that I thought you’d find really valuable.

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So her situation was she was dating this guy for about a couple of months and he decided to end things last week with her and how it went down is they were in a car and he said listen I was in a relationship recently and I’m not ready to jump into another one yet. I’m not ready to commit to somebody. However I do think that you are a lovely girl and I’d love to continue to hang-out with you and be your friend. Now they parted ways at that point and you know it sucks for her because she wanted to move in the direction it was going in.

She would have loved to for it to turn into a relationship and for him to pull the plug and re define the relationship that point hurt. So recently after the break-up he sort of contacting her again and saying things like hey let’s hang-out and wanted to hang-out with her as a friend. So her question was should I hang-out with this guy as a friend? Is it okay to do that? and the question I have for you If you’re asking that question, If you’ve ever been in that situation you’re asking that question is Do you really wanna be this guy’s friend? Is the redefinition of the relationship something that you’re on board with? Or is the friendship merely a Trojan horse that you’re using to get closer to his heart where you have an agenda and you’re hoping that possibly he starts wanting you to be his girlfriend and has a change of heart.

Now if it’s the second you can’t do it. And the reason why is because even though it may seem that you’re being compassionate and you’re being understanding of his current emotional state, If you don’t really want and don’t agree with the redefinition of the relationship as a friend he will intuitively be able to pick up on that when you’re hanging out with him and what happens in that moment is he will loss respect for you. He will loss respect for you because rather than you holding true to your values to what you want, you have collapsed those for the sake of the hope that the two of you will be together and so your value evaporates right alongside with your boundaries.

He doesn’t respect you anymore and it’s nearly impossible for him to be attracted to you at that point and if you go down that road it’s probably gonna end messy and it’s probably gonna end in a way where it’s not clean, it’s not amicable like it was. The other option is this you cut ties with him completely and you say to him something to the effect of Hey listen I understand that you don’t want a relationship right now and I do so I’m not gonna be able to be your friend.

 

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